A little Discouraged

Believe it or not, I'm not used to getting picked last for stuff. In fact, many thing come naturally to me, especially when it comes to sports. As a kid, I was good at *almost* everything I tried. The exception here is tennis. I don't even bother picking up a racket anymore. Whenever it was tennis in gym class, or I just felt like playing with friend who enjoyed using control to beat the hell out of a fuzzy green ball, it was common for me to try hard to use said control. But whenever my racket came in contact with the ball, off it sailed, into the next city, and I would have to go run after it, only to be lost in the wood near to the courts for the next half hour. Upon returning to the court, my friend would be bored, or the bell would have already rang and I would be late to my next class.

I even tried tennis lessons once. It was 4th grade and as I remember, a hot summer. Months before the summer came, my mom and I had a long conversation about what summer Wauwatosa (hometown) Rec Center camps I wanted to sign up for. I think I wanted to do soccer and rock climbing. I settled for tennis. What a mistake. Each week when my mom told me to get ready for tennis camp, I came up with some excuse-I was sunburned, my hand hurt, I had blisters, I didn't feel well. But she always *tried* to get me to go. At some point I decided I would ride my bike to camp for now on, instead of having my mom drop me off. All that really meant was me NOT attending camp, and just going for a bike ride instead.
Anyhow, besides tennis, I can handle my own in sports. Until recently. Recently, I started playing bike polo. Between friends in MPLS and friends in MKE, I had heard a lot of really good things about this sport. I tried it a few times last spring, played a tournament or two last summer, but really started playing on a weekly basis this past winter. I got a new mallet, and a ball, and was ready to really get going with this sport. I figure I can handle a bike well, and I am aggressive/athletic, what else do I need? Well, the answer (SOMETIMES) seems to be I need a penis. Don't get me wrong, there are some girls who play, and they happen to be WAY better than me. But out of the 18 or so regulars, 4( including myself) are female. I actually think that 4/18 is great for a new sport. And like I said, these women who play are pretty awesome. They are just as good as half of the guys out there. And then there is me. I feel I am easily one of the worst players out there. Maybe if I had a penis, people would care about whether or not I get better. Or maybe not....either way, I am starting to feel discouraged.

See, the way you "practice" polo, is everyone who wants to play comes out, and we just play pick up game after pick up game (different teams, chosen at random, every game). My main concern here is that I always end up on the same team as this one showy guy who forgets that he is capable of passing to players that aren't as good as he is. With polo, there are some really great players, some pretty good player and a few, like me, who are still learning. For the most part, the really good player try to get the not as good players better, by slowing down their game, passing the ball, and encouraging us to move to different parts of the court to receive a better pass. THIS, I like. Giving me tips, telling me what I can do better, suggesting I ride a different way-all of this is useful. What is NOT useful to me, is when dude who I end up on a team with every time, keeps the ball to himself, dribbling around everyone, giving no suggestions as to what he needs, or what I can do to help, and not listening when I call "HERE, in the middle, I AM OPEN!!!"

What I REALLY don't need, is for when he finally does pass me the ball, to scream "SMASH IT", or "POUND IT" just as I am about to shoot. First of all, I'm no asshole, I understand the purpose of the game. You want to score goals. You shoot the ball at the net to score a goal. So please don't scream in my ear to do so from a foot away. I will never make that shot when you scream at me. and when I say"please don't do that" respect me, and stop.

I know, I may sound like baby here. I only started seriously playing a few months ago. But I really am trying to get better. I really am. This all leads to the fact that there is a BIG tournament coming to MPLS in May. And oh snap....it wasn't even that I was picked last for a team, I STRAIGHT UP WASN'T PICKED AT ALL. Yes, I asked around. I emailed people, I tried to be friendly. But really, I felt like Forest Gump..."seats taken." It has been a pretty long time since a silly game has made me feel bad about myself. I guess I will just swallow my pride, practice harder, and remember that we all can't be good at everything. *significant life lesson that Cayla needs to learn sometime....*