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I was talking to my longtime bestie about this last night over a lovely dinner of chicken (with awesome Ritz cracker/cheese breading) asparagus and couscous.
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We started talking about getting older and our thoughts of getting older when we were young. I still sometimes think that my parents are in their 40's, because that "seems right." And then I think of who I was in grade school....and middle school, and high school. Thinking of all the stuff my parents did for me. I played sports, and music, and went to all the dances, and ski trips, and camping trips. My parents really supported all the choices I made. They encouraged me, but never really pushed me too hard. But is that a good or bad thing?
I like the life I have, I like where I ended up, but I'm not totally sure how I ended up here. My parents never required certain grades out of my brother and I. They just expected that we would do as well in school as we could, and usually that ended up being in the B range. I look at college, and I certainly kept that mentality. I worked *kinda* hard. hard enough to get B's (and A's by the time I was a JR and Sr.) But maybe if they would have pushed me to work harder than I thought I could, I would have gotten all A's.
Is that who I could have been? Would I enjoy my life now as much as I do if I was that person? I have no real answer. And don't get me wrong, my parents are amazing. They taught me how to be a really good person, and how to respect other people, and be a good friend, partner, listener, among other things. But is all that enough? (keep in mind that my life motto is to the effect of "I need to take life more seriously....who am I kidding, my life's a joke." and by that I mean, life is short, why waste it by not doing what you want....or something like that. Any thoughts?
"I still sometimes think that my parents are in their 40's, because that 'seems right.'"
ReplyDeleteMy in-laws, today, are the age that my grandparents were when they died 5 years ago. So my in-laws totally seem more like grandparents than parents. It's really weird.
i think that if they pushed you too hard, you would have grown up thinking you could never please them. and getting Bs instead of As is a way better alternative to thinking you can't please your parents. i think they did an amazing job with you. you are a wonderful person, and i have never seen you half ass it when it really counts.
ReplyDeletewhy didn't we resolve this when we were ten in the weeping willow tree by the creek? :)
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